Religion Made Funny…With No Offense Intended

Ok, so recently I have been watching clips from Mock the Week, specifically Scenes We’d Like To See, in which the six performers must come up with funny scenarios based on a scene they are given. Much like improv!

I decided to share my favourite one with you, and yes one of the comedians is Archie from Balamory! This Scenes We’d Like To See is ‘Things You Wouldn’t Read In The Bible’ and I mean no offense to those of you who are religious out there. Also, there is strong adult humour and bad language throughout, so mind your step. Please enjoy.

“And David smote Galiath. He was meant to smack him, but he was using predictive text.”

“Eve! Eve! Use fig leaves…not nettles!”

“And the Lord said ‘Oh s*** I made a wasp!'”


Endings Are Sad

And so ends another legacy. Eragon and friends, I shall miss you.

The deed is done and the book is read. The last page was where I couldn’t hold back the tears any more. I shed just the one, but I blame Eragon for that, as I only let it loose when he started to cry himself. Perfect timing really.

Inheritance was amazing. Christopher had me hooked with the relationships of the characters and the battles, and the plot line had chills running up and down my spine at regular intervals. And the length of the book didn’t matter in the end.

I just wish that Murtagh could have had more page time, as he was an amazing character. But it was nice for Christopher to write more about him in this one, as he wasn’t mentioned much in the last two. I think we really get to know Murtagh in this one. And other characters too.

In places the book had me in stitches too, which is rare with Christopher, as his story telling is a more serious, poetic approach than comedic, but I welcomed it. I mean only he could have thought up giant snails! Read the book if you don’t know what I’m on about. I recommend it.

But now I am sad. I have come to the end of a series of brilliant books full of amazing characters, characters of which have been with me since 2006 I think. 6 years. Wow.

So thank you Christopher Paolini, for such an amazing series of books. Thank you for the wonderful characters and please don’t stop writing.

A Powerful Connection

So I decided to watch the film Eragon as I’m reading the last book in the series. I have to say that the film does not do the book much justice at all.

There is so much that is awry about this film. It’s too short for a film, and considering the length of the book it deserves a lot longer. Some of the characters are not given enough credit, like Murtagh for instance, who is probally given about 10 minutes worth of screen time, and considering he is meant to be one of the main characters in the books, and one of the better ones I might add, he really needs to be given more attention. However, the guy who played him, Garrett Hedlund, worked really well with the character and what he was given.

Then you have the relationship between Eragon and Arya. In the books Eragon pretty much fancies her but Arya makes it clear that she is not interested. Not in the film! I swear the flirting between the two of them was so obvious it was cringe-worthy!

And, no offense to Ed because I think he is a great guy, I found the character of Eragon a bit to posh, as Ed is British. I just don’t think that works.

And the Urgals. I always thought of them being these creatures with horns, that looked like proper beasts. But what do we get? Men in war paint trying to be scary.

Plus Saphira the dragon looks more like a bird and grows way too quickly!

I could pick holes in so much more.

However, despite all this I think there were some pretty good points to the film also. For instance, the character of Brom was amazing, spot on. I really liked Brom in the film, but not so much in the book. And the scenery was beautiful. And the fight scenes were amazing, although I don’t remember Durza riding on a black cloud of smoke with a mouth in the book…still nice touch. It pretty much worked. Also I think the bond between dragon and Rider was captured quite well, which was something that was quite magical in the books.

Overall I’m in two minds on this film…which feels odd.

The End of a Legacy

Anybody else upset that Harry Hill’s TV Burp is ending soon? I know I am! I found it hilariously good. No one would have thought Harry was once a doctor. And he really has a keen eye for this show; I mean, to spot so many possible funny things in different TV shows…that is amazing, and really makes for a good TV show itself.

I wonder if he has ever taken the mick out of his own show…

Anyway, off topic there. My apologies. Below is a very memorable clip from the show, and has to be my favourite. Here he is taking the mick out of Pineapple Dance Studios with Louie Spence. Very funny. Enjoy!

I love to play my portable hob in the morning!

Fight For Your Life

It’s been a while since I played Left 4 Dead, so that’s exactly what I just did. I played as Zoey (as usual) and played on my favourite campaign from the first game: Dead Air. There is just something about the idea of a zombie apocalypse in an airport that really seems weirdly cool.

For those of you who don’t know, Left 4 Dead 1 and 2 are Xbox 360 games that see you play as one of four characters (different in both games) and the idea is to get to the end of the level alive by working as a team. Because there aren’t just your average everyday zombies, but these mutated ones that have ‘special’ powers. In the first game you have the Boomer, who throws up on you, thus attracting a horde of normal zombies, the Smoker who grabs you with his tongue and drags you away, the Hunter who pounces on you from far away, the Witch whos sits and cries until you get too close and startle her, which leads to you being violently attacked by her, and finally the Tank, who is a great big bulk of a zombie, driven by anger (much like the Hulk, but not green) who goes around using brute force to try to kill you.

So yeah, teamwork is a must in this game.

I was doing really well at first, killing the first four Hunters who showed their faces. They seem to have a thing for pouncing my character Zoey. So I showed them a thing or two. But then, as it usually does in Left 4 Dead, things went wrong. I think it was a horde that made things go wrong, then we had the first Tank and I distinctly remember running away from it like a wuss, dealing very little to that particular one. So then I threw all caution to the wind and just plowed through the zombies, but simultaneously making sure my team mates were with me (they are controled by the computer). It got a little chaotic, let me tell you. But the most important thing I remember from that chaos:

I remember particularly a zombie who try to climb a fence, only to be shot down. But it fell down bent at a 90 degree angle, whirling its dead arms around and around and landed on its ass. It was quite amusing. Then there was the Hunter who tried to jump and pounce me from the bottom of an escalator (I was at the top). I quite spectacularly shot it in the head mid-flight and its momentum carried it head-first into the escalator. Finally there was the two fail Smokers, and by fail I mean they completely missed when trying to grab any of us with their tongues. I chased after them and cut them down in their prime.

You will be pleased to know that me and my team mates did not die and got to the end of the campaign and into the rescue plane in one piece. Louis was caught by a Smoker at the last moment, but I ran out of the safety of the plane to rescue him. Aren’t I just a little hero?

And finally here is a funny picture to amuse you:

Top 10 Men for Valentine’s Day

I will give you boys out there fair warning: this post really won’t appeal to you at all, unless you like men.

Seeing as how it’s Valentine’s Day today I thought I would share my top 10 favourite and gorgeous men. The first seven (10-4) are in no particular order, but the last three are my favourites, and in that order.  Also, when I say ‘As seen on’ it means what I have seen them in. So, um, yeah, enjoy.

No 10

Name: Russell Howard

Famous for: Comedian

As seen on: Mock the Week, Russell Howard’s Good News and several of his own DVDs

I don’t often watch stand-up at the moment, but I usually watch him if I do. He is a really nice guy, despite the sarcastic, often dark side that comedy brings with it. He really appreciates the beautiful things in life, as is evident through all his comedy. This man is a genius, and probally the only British comedian I fancy. 

No 9

Name: Misha Collins

Famous for: Actor

As seen on: Supernatural

I love this guy because he is crazy, but plays such a serious, often wounded character. All you have to do is follow his Twitter feed to know that he’s mad! I love his character of Castiel on Supernatural because you feel really sorry for him at times, even though he isn’t human. Only Misha Collins could play him too, because he puts on this rather gravelly (and sexy) voice for Cas.

No 8

Name: Jensen Ackles

Famous for: Actor

As seen on: Supernatural, Dark Angel

This guy is just incredibly cute. He’s also a really good actor and has had me near tears with his character of Dean on Supernatural. Like Misha, he’s also rather crazy and has me in stitches off and on camera.

No 7

Name: Keanu Reeves

Famous for: Actor

As seen on: The Matrix trilogy, Bill and Ted’s Bogus Adventure, Constantine

Say what you want about Keanu, but you cannot deny that he is good looking and has had his moments. I loved him in the Matrix playing Neo and I also loved his crazy character of Ted in Bill and Ted’s Bogus Adventure. His character in Constantine is also badass. It’s such a shame he doesn’t seem to be well liked these days.

No 6

Name: James Marsters

Famous for: Actor

As seen on: Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Angel, Torchwood

I only really fancied James when he was playing Spike in Buffy and Angel. However, what I have seen on both these shows, plus on Torchwood, I can safely say that he is an amazing actor, who does emotions really well. But you just can’t beat a bit of the bad-boy, British, punk vampire that was sexy Spike.

No  5

Name: David Boreanaz

Famous for: Actor

As seen on: Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Angel, Bones

David is one of those naturally gorgeous people and it was very hard not to notice this with his brooding and sexy character of Angel! However, he is also an excellent actor too and that was particularly evident in the Buffy and Angel shows.

No 4

Name: Jared Padalecki

Famous for: Actor

As seen in: Supernatural, Gilmore Girls

Someone had to play Sam in Supernatural alongside Dean and none could be better than the gorgeous Jared. Jared’s chemistry with Jensen is amazing, and like Jensen he has brought me near to tears with his character of Sammy on many occasions.

No 3

Name: Taylor Lautner

Famous for: Actor

As seen on: The Twilight Saga

I have really started to have a bigger crush on this guy recently. Maybe it’s because he’s exactly my age (most men I fancy are often a lot older than me) and damn gorgeous to behold. Plus I love his character of Jacob and I so wish he and Bella would get together already. Ooops, major Twifan moment. For the record I am not a Twifan, I just like the books and films and have a crush on Taylor. It’s nothing, honest.

No 2

Name: Jared Leto

Famous for: Musician, Actor

As seen on/in: Fightclub, 30 Seconds to Mars

What’s not to like about this guy? He’s beautiful, funny, talented and an extremely nice person. I love his voice in 30 Seconds to Mars, plus he can play guitar, direct and act! He is my life idle because he has really pushed himself to get where he wanted to be (in 30 Seconds to Mars) and looks at the world in much the same way I do: the destruction of man with the balance of the beauty of nature. I love you Jared! Keep up the good work! You’re amazing and I love love love 30 Seconds to Mars!

No 1

Name: Jeff B. Davis

Famous for: Improv comedian, bit of an actor

As seen on: Whose Line Is It Anyway US, Drew Carey’s Green Screen Show,  Drew Carey’s Improvaganza, Lazer Fart, Batman, On the Spot, Happy Family, The Drew Carey Show, Bastard Robot (I could go on)

Jeff takes number 1 place and this is me officially announcing my love for him. I love this guy for so many reasons, including his talent, beauty, kindness and humour. He makes me laugh every time I watch him and he also melts my heart in only the way he could. I LOVE YOU JEFF!

Hurhmmm. I apologise. I seem to have lost it there a little, my dignity that is. Well there you go, now you know my top 10 favourite guys, probally more than I wanted you to know about though.

Cracking Some Ribs

More comedy is on its way. So brace yourselves, hold those wigs on and don’t forget that I am not responsible for any ribs you may break.

This clip below is a couple of clips mashed together from Whose Line Is It Anyway, featuring most members of the cast: Drew, Wayne, Greg (in the background), Chip, Brad and even Jeff who didn’t feature nearly enough on this show. But our main stars are Ryan and Colin. All these clips are taken from the game Greatest Hits, where the guys, in this case it was always Colin and Ryan, introduces a CD collection and the others, always Wayne and either Brad, Chip or Jeff, sings a few songs from the collection.

This video only shows Ryan and Colin’s bits, as they were incredibly funny. I can see why so many people say that these two were best for this part of the game, but with this game’s evolution they get everyone of the performers to have a go now, which I think deserves some credibility.

Anyway, I’ve wittered on too much, so enjoy.

Poor Ryan; I think he’s the one who has broken the ribs with all that laughing! And I love Colin with his tendencies to not think before he speaks.

“We’re watching animal porn!”

“I just choked on my horr-oor.”

“Backstreet Boys!”