Talking Sausages Are Fake

Due to time slipping through my fingers for the upteenth time, I forgot to tell you about a book I finished three days ago. I finished it on my wonderful Kindle, so don’t get excited hardcopy lovers.

I am of course talking about Grimm’s Fairy Tales, the more morbid original versions of the tales that we all grow up with. Sleeping Beauty, for instance, was called Briar Rose and anyone who tried to get through the wall of brambles before the 100 hundred years had past got stuck and died horribly. Red Riding Hood doesn’t seem to have changed much, nor Snow White.

I have heard that the Grimm Brothers’ versions of the tales were really quite morbid and gory, so much so that they had to tone the contents down for the children of my generation and even before that. I don’t think they were nearly as half as bad as people made out. They were extremely weird, yes, I will give you that, but not horrible. Ok, there were a few that were a bit ‘wow what the hell, that’s not right’, but overall they seemed fine. Then again, in recent years I think I have been desensitised to gore and the like through games and other stories. Who knows?

I think one of the scarier weird stories in the book had to be the one entitled The Mouse, The Bird and The Sausage, which sees a talking and walking sausage get eaten by a talking dog. Then the bird comes along and here is the quote that made me unsure as to whether I should laugh or cower in fear and the insanity of it:

The bird complained to the dog of this bare-faced robbery, but nothing he said was of any avail, for the dog answered that he found false credentials on the sausage, and that was the reason his life had been forfeited.

So this sausage was a fake. Could he have been a criminal in disguise?

See, now I’m going crazy.

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